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Satirical News from the Future

& elsewhere in the time flow



08-01-2042:  Eekbola Alert!  Experts Advise:  Panic Immediately, Obey Official Instructions

07-31-2042:  NSA Appointment/Calendar App -- Coming Soon To iTunes

07-27-2042:  Vaccine General Dedicated to Eradication of Dandruff Dangers

07-23-2042:  Perrywinkle Deploys Troops to NAU Border to Stem Immigrant Influx

07-19-2042:  Lost Brzezinski Diary Reveals Secret Crush on Isis Leader Al-Baghdadi

07-16-2042:  New Watch-Your-Mouth App Keeps an Eye on Your Words, So You Don't Have To!

07-13-2042:  Android Army Sent to Confiscate Food Runs Amuck, Teaches Urban Farming Instead

07-12-2042:  Monsteranto Introduces Delicious, Nutritious New GM Humapear

07-09-2042:  Jerry Garcia Fans Alarmed as Cloning Attempt Goes Awry

07-06-2042:  Totalitarian Tiptoe Turns into Tap Dance as DARPA Perfects Self-Replicating Nanochip

07-04-2042:  Direct-Wired White Coat Ensures Perfectly Compliant Medical Care

07-03-2042:  2014 Lawsuit Over Immigrant Flood Deemed Moot After 25 Years on Appeal

07-01-2042:  SCOTUS Strikes Down Warrantless Phone Searches; Tips Hat to Total Surveillance

06-30-2042:  Ray Kurdzwhile Clone #2 Wanted for Crimes Against Transnature

06-28-2042:  "Life Tenure" Has New Meaning for Immortal U.S. Supreme Court

06-27-2042:  Mt. Mordor Opens to Zero Fanfare, Vandals Galore

06-25-2042:  An Important Reminder about Post-Birth Abortion from the Global Ministry of Health

06-23-2042:  New Miracle Drug Cures Pathological Contrarianism

06-23-2042:  World Citizen of the Year 2042!  Brought To You by the Cornegie Foundation