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CDC Vaccine Researcher Goes Crazy, Starts "Listening to Conscience"

By Ginny Stoner |

Image by David Dees |

August 23, 2042

WANTED for crimes against

the Government-Pharmaceutical Alliance:

The CDC has called on the Department of Health & Human Services Armed Militia to help locate a CDC researcher who went off his rocker this week, claiming that a voice identifying itself as his "conscience" compelled him to spill sacred vaccine secrets of the Government-Pharmaceutical Alliance.

Shortly before absconding from the CDC compound, the troubled researcher, identified as Dr. William W. Thompson, recorded a rambling  "confession" in which he expressed "shame" for suppressing research findings showing that the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine (the "MMR") dramatically increased the risk of autism when given to young black boys.

"A number of well-respected researchers were involved in the MMR autism study, none of whom have claimed to have been involved in a fraudulent coverup, so clearly Dr. Thompson's claims are delusional," said CDC spokesperson Ima Mengele.  "Further, it is well-established that some children with autism have never even received the MMR vaccine, so it couldn't possibly be a cause this tragic disorder."   

We spoke with psychiatrist Dr. Snaky Branular for some insight on what may be going on inside Dr. Thompson's troubled mind.

"According to Thompson's 'confession', he began receiving messages from his 'conscience' after speaking directly with parents of children with autism," explained Dr. Branular.  "Researchers are wise to avoid contacts of this sort, which can create a false impression that the fate of individual children actually matters. 

"What constitutes the 'greater good' is a decision based on a sophisticated analysis of the numbers, conducted at the highest levels of the Government-Pharmaceutical Alliance.  It's not wise for anyone else, including researchers, to look too closely at the numbers, or the analysis."

The CDC's Ima Mengele assured us that vigorous efforts are underway to ensure that the vulnerable, gullible public is protected from hearing about Dr. Thompson's dangerous delusions.