Educational institutions have been transformed into snuggly safe spaces of regulated learning, where every student can relax and be fully self-expressed in an atmosphere of shared values, free from judgment, offense, harassment, hate speech, disapproval, annoyance, and of course the most dreaded encounter of all—ideas that conflict with their existing beliefs.
But once students leave the hallowed halls of safe learning, they are thrust into a frightening world of unregulated speech, forced to endure a hailstorm of potential triggers, with the dreaded specter of cognitive dissonance lurking around every corner.
But no more! Thanks to the new personal Safe Space Bubble from your most trusted mind watchdog, iMKUltra, now everyone can experience the joys of constant reinforcement and vapid contentment—everywhere, all the time!
Simply cover your noggin with the lightweight Safe Space Bubble, and select your preferred biological gender, gender identity, political orientation, cultural background, and spiritual or religious leanings (if any) using the easy Set-Ur-Mind control panel. The Safe Space Bubble will automatically tune out any stimulus inconsistent with your lifestyle, and feed your mind with a constant stream of affirmations, along with entertainment and news customized especially for your personal world view.
The Safe Space Bubble comes with an automatic conspiracy theory filter to protect your mind from crazy ideas that conflict with official stories and expert consensus. Why waste precious mental energy on information you already know is ridiculous? When a conspiracy theory is detected, the Safe Space Bubble automatically turns off audio input, and a flashing red warning light alerts you to an imminent threat to your unwavering trust in government and media.
To ward off persistent conspiracy theorists, turn on an optional prerecorded deflector message, such as “this stupid is making my head hurt” or, for the more intellectually inclined, “your ideas have been thoroughly debunked” or “you’ve been duped by charlatans and shills.”
The Safe Space Bubble is fully soundproof at the touch of a button to protect even the most delicate sensibilities, while its one-way microphone with adjustable volume always allows your exceptional insight to be heard.
As a bonus, the Safe Space Bubble includes a secure neck seal and micro filter, so you can be confident you will never inhale a random superbug, or cooties exhaled from the lungs of the unvaccinated.
iMKUltra--Designing your dreams, and making them come true!