The Global Pharmaceutical Alliance (GPA) posthumously awarded former Governor of California Jerry Brown its coveted Medal of Outstanding Servitude yesterday, in honor of the 28th anniversary of his historic signing of SB277, a law designed to ensure that only fully vaccinated minds receive an education.
"Governor Brown expertly wielded a simulacrum of science to send a message of unquestioning obedience to the People of California," said GPA spokesman Ty Rannical. "The entire industry is grateful for his efforts to secure continued profitability in the face of an emerging threat of independent thought."
Shortly after Governor Brown signed SB277, Californians were alarmed to discover that many of their legislators, and even Governor Brown himself, had never caught up on all the miraculous vaccines they missed out on as children. Anxious to ensure their safety and protection, the citizens of California quickly passed an initiative that required all lawmakers to be fully vaccinated.
Sadly, Governor Brown died mysteriously just days after receiving the 42 vaccines required for him to continue in office. The coroner attributed his untimely demise to Sudden Inexplicable Death Syndrome.