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Pope Paul Offal I

Doctors, Researchers Charged with

Heresy Against the Vaccine Church

By Ginny Stoner |

Image by Bill Branson {PD} | Remix by NWO Reporter

December 13, 2042
Thirty-six doctors and researchers were summoned to inquisition last week by the World Health Organization Diocese to answer charges of heresy against the Vaccine Church. 

The names of the infidels have been engraved in the Holy Muckrakers Registry of Aspersion, to alert faithful Church followers to the danger of cerebral contamination from their blasphemous views.     

The accused include a number of well-known physicians and researchers, including:

  • Dr. Sherri Tenpenny, an osteopathic medical doctor, charged with using the Internet to cast aspersions on Church doctrine.  

  • Dr. Gary Null, charged with the production of blasphemous films, and refusing penance.

  • Biochemist Dr. Boyd Haley, charged with engaging in satanic rituals designed to unlawfully cleanse Holy Heavy Metals.

Celebrated psychiatrist Dr. Duncan Druggem urged the Ecclesiastical Court to order an immediate psychiatric evaluation of the accused, preferably at his convenient Beverly Hills basilica.   

"Vaccine heresy is commonly associated with a number of serious psychiatric disorders," explained Dr. Druggem, "including Oppositional Physician Disorder, Adjustment Disorder with Apostasy Features, Research-Induced Disruptive Disorder, or even Doctor Dementia.  The good news is that all of these conditions are treatable with appropriate medications and intensive electroshock-enhanced purgation."

If convicted, the infidels face a penalty of lifelong excommunication from all ecumenical sciences; a tithe of 50% of their gross income in perpetuity; and/or burning at the stake of the entirety of their professional writings and reputation.

Pope Paul Offal I issued a reminder that anyone encountering blasphemous vaccine information should immediately close their eyes, cover their ears, and loudly chant:

"The science is settled!  The science is settled!  The science is settled!"

...until the source of the cognitive dissonance goes away.



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